intravenous de milo

In light of today's much-heralded release of Bruce Springsteen's latest - "Devils & Dust" - I am reminded of this Slate article from a few years back. Here the relevant passage:

U2 is perhaps the world's vaguest band. If a U2 song isn't written in the first person, it is penned to an unnamed, indistinct "you." Instead of stories or wordplay, they rely solely on fuzzy imagery. I opened the liner notes to All That You ... and wrote down the first three lines I read: "See the canyons broken by clouds"; "I and I in the sky"; "A man takes a rocket ship into the skies." Classic U2 haze—skies, rockets, clouds, canyons. Doesn't anyone have a name? There are never any actual people in U2 songs, never any characters. (Compare U2 to the narrative specificity of Bob Dylan or Bruce Springsteen.) This vagueness drains U2's lyrics of any content: It is impossible to think about a U2 song. "One" includes depressing lines like "We hurt each other/ Then we do it again" and "You say love is a temple. … You ask me to enter/ But then you make me crawl"...

Well since you asked [full disclosure: I like depressing lyrics as much - more, in fact - as the next guy. But that notwithstanding...], here's the opening lyrics to the best song on Springsteen's best record:

My name is Joe Roberts I work for the state
I'm a sergeant out of Perrineville barracks number 8
I always done an honest job as honest as I could
I got a brother named Frankie and Frankie ain't no good

Now ever since we was young kids it's been the same come down
I get a call over the radio Frankie's in trouble downtown
Well if it was any other man, I'd put him straight away
But when it's your brother sometimes you look the other way

Yeah me and Frankie laughin' and drinkin'
Nothin' feels better than blood on blood
Takin' turns dancin' with Maria as the band
Played "Night of the Johnstown Flood"

I catch him when he's strayin' like any brother would
Man turns his back on his family well he just ain't no good

What with the new job and all, I've had to try to explain my anti-U2 stance more than usual over the past few weeks. I've finally determined: the only difference between Matchbox 20 and U2 is their megalomania. And I'm indicting the Edge and the other guys too, because they tolerate Bono's bullshit. The musical growth rate of this band cannot even be charted. They are treading water in a sea of retarded politics and bad poetry.